


To An Understanding

by kronette



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Episode: s01e13 End of Days, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-12-25
Updated: 2007-12-25
Packaged: 2017-11-20 20:57:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/589571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kronette/pseuds/kronette
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Hub was quiet. It was a different quiet than death; this silence was incomplete. Machines hummed and purred, feeling like the blood rushing through his veins.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To An Understanding

The Hub was quiet. It was a different quiet than death; this silence was incomplete. Machines hummed and purred, feeling like the blood rushing through his veins.

Four days - the longest he'd ever stayed dead. That death terrified him more than anything he'd seen or heard of from the Doctor; and he'd heard and seen a _lot_. He should feel weak after having his very extended life drained out of him, but an itch beneath his skin made him restless. He started a circuit around the Hub, reacquainting himself with all of the secret places on every level.

He halted mid-step at a noise from one of the rooms ahead. He didn't have a weapon on him, which shouldn't have been a necessity inside Torchwood, but then again... He'd have to rely on his own inability to stay dead as he checked out the noise -- that repeated, only quieter this time.

As he crept nearer the door, his stomach soured. He'd ordered Ianto to seal that particular room, but here it was, door wide open. The room where Ianto hid his girlfriend-turned-cyberwoman. Coldness shivered up his spine as Ianto's angry words and Gwen's quiet pity reminded him that he wasn't one of them. He stepped lightly as his eyes adjusted to the darkness. There-- a shift in the shadows; something moved. The noise emanated from that shadow and pierced Jack's long-thought-dead heart -- a muffled sob.

He approached cautiously but quickly, not knowing who it could be -- then the profile was unmistakable: Ianto. He hadn't _seen_ Ianto leave; he'd only heard the others calling to him as they left. Ianto must have sneaked down here...but why?

Jack crouched down, surprised to find him curled on the floor, asleep, wrapped around a large blanket as though it might vanish. A small burst of --something-- flared briefly in Jack's chest as he figured out what it was that Ianto held so dear. Clutched in both fists, held against his mouth, was Jack's overcoat. Tear-tracks on the too-young face were visible even in the feeble light coming from the corridor.

"Ah, Ianto," Jack sighed as he brushed his hand through Ianto's mussed hair. Jack knew he took the other man for granted, but never was it more plain than now, staring at what he'd created with his thoughtlessness.

A distressed sob choked Ianto awake, startling both of them. Wide-eyed, Ianto stared at him. "Ja--s-sir?"

Hundreds of thousands of words were rejected in the span of a second. Jack used to be a con man; he understood that words had little meaning when trust was abused. Studying the stricken face before him, Jack truly realized just how deeply he'd hurt Ianto. He leaned forward, capturing Ianto's face with his hands to bring their mouths together. Ianto froze for terrifying seconds, and Jack feared that the damage between them was too great.

Then Ianto pushed up into his arms and took control of the kiss, open and demanding and desperate. Relief and arousal washed over Jack, and that flutter of something else grew stronger inside him. Pleading sounds spilled into his mouth and he gave whatever Ianto asked for; offered Ianto whatever he needed and more.

When he came to his senses, Jack was supine on the floor with a thigh under his right knee and Ianto braced above him. Though both were fully clothed, Jack felt as if he'd gone several rounds with Ianto and was ready for more. Their heavy panting and the flush across Ianto's cheeks and neck belied the truth of their state of clothing; they may as well have had hours of sex for the intensity shining from Ianto's eyes.

_Want_ shone clear and bright from those blue eyes, with sadness dampening the edges. "I wish..."

Jack ran the pad of his thumb across Ianto's swollen lower lip, and enjoyed the lowering of lashes at the sensation. "You don't need to wish, Ianto. Tell me what you want and I'll tell you if you can have it."

Blue eyes snapped to his. Ianto's voice sounded rusted with disuse as he rasped, " _You_. I want you, and I'm not supposed to. It isn't allowed."

A trickle of anger began in the pit of his stomach. He wasn't blind to Ianto's archaic notions of romance and chivalry, but his gut told him Ianto's confession wasn't about that. He cupped Ianto's cheek in his palm and nudged the corner of his mouth with his thumb, as he asked calmly, "Not allowed by whom?"

Ianto leaned into the touch briefly before pulling back. His answer was quiet. "Torchwood. I was given explicit instructions."

Jack barely held his seething anger in check. Wasn't it bad enough that Ianto survived the cyberman invasion and had seen the destruction of nearly everything? No one had the right to dictate basic human relationships or comforts. He tightened his grip on Ianto's head, fixing him with a hard glare. " _I_ am Torchwood and you take orders from _me_ ; is that clear?"

Jack could feel Ianto trembling beneath his hands as his eyes lowered and he replied, "Yes, sir."

He gentled his touch, soothing fingertips at Ianto's temples, the hollow of his cheeks and down his jaw. "I don't make promises, Ianto, though I think you know that already. Tell me again what you want and if I can give it, I will."

A shaky hand came off the floor and caressed the skin at the base of his throat, causing Jack to inhale quickly. That touch was electric.

"I want to be more than just the tea-boy," Ianto murmured against his ear, warm breath sending gooseflesh across his skin.

Jack let out a surprised gasp as cool wetness trailed down the side of his neck. From somewhere at the hollow of his throat, Ianto continued, "I want to be treated as an equal in front of the team." Thick hair tickled his chin as Ianto moved to the other side, nipping at his earlobe.

Jack had always been a hedonist and he wanted to drown himself in this almost reverent sensuality. His hands found their way under Ianto's crumpled suit and shirt to feel bare, warm skin. He closed his eyes and tilted his head back as far as he could, willing - begging - Ianto to finish what he'd started.

"I want to be able to touch you in the Hub," was murmured against his skin, and despite the arousal thrumming through his body, Jack couldn't help but laugh.

"I don't know where my hub is, but you're more than welcome to touch it any time you like."

Ianto shredded his humor with a glare. "This isn't a joke. You mean a great deal to me, and I want to know if you--if you have any feelings toward me. Of a se--sexual nature, that is."

The darkness that spread across Ianto's features now wasn't arousal; it was embarrassment. Fear that he'd said too much; asked too much; pushed too far.

He felt the heat spread down Ianto's back and his hands traced it back up to Ianto's shoulders, pushing the younger man toward him for a deep, lingering kiss. When they parted, Ianto rested his forehead against Jack's and let out a soft breath.

"I haven't been fair to you. I've used you at my convenience, taking for granted that you'd always be willing; that you'd always be there. What's _worse_ ; I didn't show you the respect you deserve. I don't make promises," Jack repeated gently, "So when I say something, it means something. You are a valuable member of the Torchwood team, and you'll be afforded the same respect and confidence as the others; an equal."

A short silence, then Ianto asked quietly, "And the rest?"

"Pushy bugger, aren't you?" Jack murmured as his hands slid down Ianto's back to cup his ass, drawing a gasp from the younger man. He pulled Ianto closer as he tilted his hips upward, causing them both to release shaken moans.

Jack reined himself in, determined to say his piece. "In case you haven't noticed, I've been hard for awhile now, but this isn't just about physical sex; it's more than that. How much more, I can't say, because I don't know."

He didn't have to see Ianto's face to feel the attempt at masking his disappointment.

He brought his hands back up to cup Ianto's face. "I know that wasn't what you were hoping for, but I won't lie to you, Ianto. I like your wicked sense of humor. I like how you take care of everyone like a mother cat, letting your claws show when necessary. I love how you keep your suits tight and proper, as if you're holding a wild lion at bay inside." He grinned and added, "I love however it is you make your coffee; some of the finest damn coffee in the universe." That earned him a small smile, but Jack could still sense the disappointment bubbling underneath.

He kept his tone even, but let a hint of anger glimmer through. "Would you rather me lie to you and say we'll be together forever, hearts and flowers, moonlight strolls and sex by candlelight? That isn't me, Ianto, and I think you know that, too."

"Yes," came the quiet reply. Ianto met his gaze. "Lie to me. Tell me we'll have a happy ending. All of us - Owen, Toshiko, Gwen, me and you - we'll get our happy endings, being with those we love." Ianto dipped his head, resisting Jack's attempts to see his face. "Without that hope, without that goal, what _is_ the point? We all want the same things, Jack. We want to be loved. We want to be needed. We want to matter to someone."

Jack closed his eyes and pulled Ianto down to settle on top of him, head resting on his shoulder. "If you disappeared right now, I'd fumble around, directionless, as though I'd lost an arm. That's how important you are to me, Ianto. You keep me sane in an insane universe. If that doesn't mean I need you; if it doesn't mean you matter to me, then we'll both walk away right now and go on with our separate lives."

Ianto raised his head and rested his chin on Jack's chest. "And if it does?"

To his surprise, Jack saw a teasing glint in Ianto's gaze. Quickly catching up, he settled his hands low on Ianto's hips, fingertips rubbing at the curve of his ass. "Well, then I'd say we've had a very productive discussion so far, but maybe we should continue it upstairs."

Ianto wrinkled his nose in mock-sympathy. "The floor too hard on your back?"

Jack replied with an impertinent smirk. "Oh, I like it fine, but it's not my back that I'm worrying about."

With a cheeky grin, Ianto got to his feet and offered a hand. Jack took the offer of assistance, taking the opportunity to pull Ianto into another kiss. He felt the heat of Ianto's hand map along his spine, and the restless itch beneath his skin waned, to be replaced with the familiar, welcome thrum of anticipation.

As they broke apart, he spotted his coat on the floor and retrieved it. Instead of the flush of embarrassment he expected, Ianto met his gaze squarely. That stance defied Jack to taunt him, but he felt no such compulsion. He draped his coat across Ianto's shoulders and pulled it closed in the front, his eyes never leaving Ianto's.

In a crumpled suit, in his crumpled overcoat, Jack thought Ianto had never looked happier.

The End


End file.
